In the Silence
I heard you just now... You were sitting in the corner with, who I assume is, your beautiful and young girlfriend. You looked at her, glanced at us and said "Promise me, we will never be like them... sitting in the silence." She let out a short giggle and mouthed "promise."
My husband looked at me and I at him, we both grinned, I gave an eye roll, and in the silence we thought the same thing, "how naive."
Because you see by "in the silence" you assume the romance is gone, we have run out of things to talk about, our lives are boring. What you don't see is what is actually said in the silence, we have been married so long our language has changed from the spoken to the unspoken, a small glance, a brush of the hand, a look... those small things say so much more than your spoken words ever will.
What you don't see is the look he gave me as he went to use the restroom right after we were seated. I knew it meant to order a Blue Moon not the margarita tonight because of the way his eyes met mine. I'm not sure how I know, we've just evolved this way.
What you don't see is when he asks what I want for dinner and the way my small grunt as a response triggers an answer... in those moments he knows just what to order, if we will be sharing or not, and he always remembers to order it without onions.
What you don't see is so much more...
When the kids ask for something and we just look at each other, in that moment we know what the others answer is.
When we are asked to volunteer for an event or something at the school, just one look lets us know if the other is on board.
When the in-laws corner us for a favor all it takes is a glance and we can tell if we should say yes or no.
I could go on...
What you don't see is the way we look at each other, really look at each other. How we get lost in each others eyes, still, even after 15 years of marriage. How his hand finds mine, no matter where are, even now across the table, in this moment, he says nothing, we just gravitate toward one another.
What you don't see is the peace we feel. It's almost like our souls are tethered together and in one look he can know if I am piping mad or lusting for his touch. With one glance I can know if he is tired and needs a moment or if he needs me to help shoulder a burden.
What you do not understand, but with any luck and a deep love, someday you might, is that so much more is said in the silence than in your meager words.